You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize