She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
