the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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