Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize