This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
