I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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