she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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