so that wasnt chicken after all
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
