So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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