dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
