Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
