Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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