6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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