Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
