North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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