Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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