I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize