I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
