Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
