Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
