Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
