Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you didnt know i had herpes?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry about my life...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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