what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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