I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
