im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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