i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
