Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
