P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
do nipples grow back?
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