we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
two words...techno handjob
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
