His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
