why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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