Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
