Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
