Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
