Umm I'm too high to move.
I understand Curling. That high.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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