hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
