Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
