i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize