just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
