It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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