that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
