He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
