Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
