bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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