Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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