Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
