In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
