summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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