he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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