Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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