hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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