Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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