i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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