I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
