I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
