so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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