i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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