then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
