dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
