Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so let's talk penis.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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