This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
