3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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