The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
