Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The struggles of a small town man whore
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
