so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
