ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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