I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize