She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize