Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
