I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
