Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
