the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
