would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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