I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
