I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
