margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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