Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize