I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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