Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize